Makes Me Want to Go Postal

Today’s Soundtrack:

When Cricket came home to visit a few weekends ago and went to the fridge to see there was nothing to eat she sigh aloud, “I am so glad I’m off at college.”

I thought, take me with you.

The Js are driving me out of my mind.  I’m outnumbered, the two of them plus their appetite against little ole me.

Ex: J2 is a sugar fiend.  He has been using my International Coffee Cream to flavor his milk.   Or more like it he’s using the milk to flavor his cream.  Do you know what it’s like to reach into the fridge to put cream in your coffee and it’s gone? 

And J.  He thinks every meal I make is for him and him alone.  I made a big pan of lasagna and gave a couple of small slices to Mimi to take with her and J asks, “Why did you give away my lasagna?”

And last night I come into the kitchen to find the homemade chicken soup I stuck in the freezer last month thawed out and just sitting on the counter.

Me: Why is this chicken soup sitting on the counter.

J: Oh, I put it in the microwave to eat on Sunday night but then I forgot about it.

Me: ( hitting the roof)  Who told you to take it out the freezer?  It was too much soup for one person anyway.

J: I just wanted some of my soup.

Me: Your soup?  It’s not your soup.  You didn’t make it.  And then you didn’t even eat it.  And then you ate the dinner I made last night!  Man what is wrong with you.  I’m gonna tell you what is wrong with you….

Man, I went on a long diatribe about him wasting food and all he kept saying is he wanted to eat his soup.  Like everything I make is just for him and him alone.

I text Cricket to tell her how the Js are doing and she texts me back, in a nutshell, “Sucks to be you.”

LOL

I love the two guys but they are driving me crazy.

On Sunday night I sat in my room eating my hidden stash or Oreo cookies.  J comes in and asks me what’s on my lips.

“Nothing.”

He looks closer and says, “It’s chocolate!  You’re eating chocolate.  You can’t do that; you have to share.”

“I bought them, I don’t have to share.”

“That’s not nice.”

I warn him that I’m riding the crimson waves.  “Those cookies are the only thing that’s keeping me from knocking you the heck out.”

He laughs at me.  He never takes me seriously. 

Man, he just don’t know.