Samoan Fa’alavelave

My daughter’s grandpa, a faife‘au (minister), had passed away in mid-June.  I have two girls with my ex-husband, ages 15 and 10.  A Samoan funeral or wedding are two of the biggest events in one’s family. I write this because at the time my girls were unaware of the huge responsibility and demand it entails. Especially from them being the first born grandchildren, and the only girls of the grandchildren line. They had to be taught the proper way to enter a room, serve the elders and important people, along with learning a traditional Samoan siva (dance) to honor their grandfather.  Although I have never been a major part in any of these events, I will attempt to share the steps of what should be done during this time since it is a huge part of the Fa’a Samoa (The Samoan Way).  This is no way exact.  Every fa’alavelave is different I’m sure. Some more detailed, some more precised, and some more elaborate then others.  But they all have one common thing. Matai’s (chiefs) and delegates who participate in these ceremonies.

Samoan fa’alavelave’s (any event in the Samoan culture that involves the gathering of extended family) preserves the Fa’a Samoa (The Samoan Way). Every Samoan family has someone who carries the chief title or is the eldest member of a family’s line and is able to make decisions on behalf of the family and the fa‘alavelave’s. A family matai can get financial support from several (families) depending on how active he is as a matai or his status in the family. There are many different factors that figure this financial contribution out for fa‘alavelave events. This would typically include the extended family.

Ietoga, which are fine mats are handmade and come in a variety of sizes. They are sometimes decorated with feathers or yarn. The fine mats served as a money in fa‘alavelave events back in the old days. Today, the fine mats are still appreciated and carry the family’s respect. There is not much use for the fine mats other then sometimes decorating the floors. Normally after the event, the ietoga’s are rolled up and covered with plastic. They are stored away until the next fa‘alavelave. Which could be another funeral, or wedding.

Prior to the funeral, the matai (chief), and the tulafale (talking chief) perform an important ceremony which gets the family together. There can be other high members of this group to participate in the family ceremony meeting. This meeting with the family is highly important because it is when the chief delegates each of their roles and what they will be doing.  Sometimes the ceremony will include member’s of the surviving spouse’s family.  Any fine mats and money given are all written down in a notebook and kept by a person who was delegated to do the accounting job. Small fine mats are usually 5 to six feet long. Whereas the larger mats can go up to twenty feet or more. The large mats tend to be the ones that have a role to play. They are normally showed off, and then discussed on since they have a higher and special status than the smaller ones. Money that is given along with the fine mat is normally presented to the matai of the family.  The family meeting ceremony ends with the conclusion of who will buy the food, who will prepare it, who will be the official secretary and the accountant for the future anticipated si‘i (anything that the family is offering in support of the fa’alavelave to show their support and respect for the deceased) and sua (preparatory element of any fa’alavelave).

During the week prior to the funeral, visiting friends, co-workers, extended family, and church members visit the immediate family to deliver their si‘i and to show their respect. I am the ex daughter in law in this family. However the si’i from my current husband, myself, and kids was $200 dollars along with cases of water and soda. My parent’s also sent money along with my siblings who took over chips, cookies, and snacks for the kids. Everyone brings over more fine mats and money aside from what was presented at the family meeting. There are strict rules to these giving’s. The talking chief receives the si’i and in return says, thanks on behalf of the family and gives back half of what was given.  A ceremonial sua is given in return where the visiting important people, such as chief’s, ministers, their wives, etc. are offered a meal on a huge tin tray. The traditional meals normally include a taro, fa’i (a unriped banana baked in a umu which is  traditional above ground over hot rocks cooking), palusami (spinach type dish made with coconut milk), pig, chicken, sapasui (chopped noodles), a fine mat, and a case of corned beef. There has been a change of some traditional sua items given. Sometimes a can of soda with a dollar bill tucked underneath the tab is now given with a traditional Ie lavalava (traditional fabric worn around the waist).  There are many other items that can take the place of traditional Samoan foods that are offered. The change is due in most parts because people cannot obtain traditional Samoan food on the mainland. The ceremonial sua being given is never eaten right away because it is being presented as a sign of respect.  After the sua is looked over and taken into account, about half of the money and fine mats are then returned to the delegates. The receiving family is expected to return a good portion of the si‘i.  Before they leave they are given more items to take home.  After receiving their sua from the family that day, the delegates will eventually go back and visit all of the contributing members of their support team who had helped give money and give each one of them an equal portion of the si‘i that was returned to them. This completes the exchange obligation.  And sometimes these financial matches run up in to the thousands of dollars that change hands. 

Now, not all Samoan children learn and participate the Fa‘a Samoa. My daughter’s are a prime example of this.  My girls who have only been taught limited things about their culture and the Samoan language from their dad’s side actually only have a small understanding of their racial makeup. It is now at their older age that they desire to learn the language and traditional dances. With me not being Samoan and having to learn myself, I have made the decision to help them in the best way I can. Attempting to find classes that teach the Samoan language. Which has become quite difficult to find. Also to find dance classes where they can learn and participate in traditional Samoan Sivas (dances.) From this we (my girls and I) realize, it’s never too late to learn something new. Besides, in this era and world, being bilingual or trilingual for that matter has such a huge benefit both financially and mentally. My advice, learn ALL you can and embrace the cultures that affect your family. Even if it’s just a wee bit of learning.