Our Kids and Bilingual Learning

Cleaning out my inbox always yields some cultural related treasure. This weeks find is the website My Panda Paws

The site was started by two Chinese-American moms who wanted to pass on their heritage, culture, traditions and language to their children. Even though there are many bilingual products in the market already many of them did not meet the quality standards of thee moms. One of the things important to them…good translation. Seems many books in the market place tend to translate each word literally, and therefore many times losing the essence of the book.

As a mom I can understand the feeling behind their goal. After having a biracial child you look for ways to include all the parts that make your child whole. In a world that still views many things with mono-racial glasses seeing sites like this is encouraging.

Of course I ran all thru the website checking out how culturally aware their products are. I was pleasantly surprised to find that while the main theme of learning the chinese language and culture was…well the main theme…they included products by other cultures. More exciting is I found a few things that included *gasp* black images.

I’m loving this All About Me from the Lift the Flap book series. Now you probably don’t understand how key this is on both sides of the kiddy spectrum. First seeing the black image introduces racial awareness to young children. I’ve read one to many articles about parents raising their children in isolation from other cultures.

Second, as a mom of a black and asian child I want him to see children in books and products that reflect his community, images he can relate to, products that mix both black and asian culture…sorta. Granted there’s still a while to go before there’s anything made specifically for the blasian community but until then…sites like this help.

Blasian in the Babytalk/GMA Cover Contest 2009

http://www.parenting.com/babytalk/covercontest

I finally caving under the pressure to submit Daniel’s photo into the Babytalk/Good Morning America cover contest for 2009. Since he was born I’ve been hearing I need to put him into contests and modeling. I’ve been taking a strong stance against any of these suggestions. Of course I think my son is adorable and would love for the world to see his ultimate yumminess. But I’m sorta conflicted about pitting babies against each other. After all aren’t all babies beautiful in there own way?

Well the answer should be yes. But it seems there’s always some study done which supports popular opinion that mixed race babies are the cutest. So can someone tell me why most baby photo contest tend to showoff mono-racial babies?

Is there a mixed race baby photo contest I’m not aware of that I should be entering? Because I’m not 100% on board with pitting my little mixie against single race babies. I don’t think you can even offer a fair comparison.  I dunno…maybe I just look for issues with everything. After all this is suppose to be a positive and happy thing right? I mean if we get into the finals then we can get some great prizes along with exposure… exposure that will bring the reality of mixed race blasian babies to the masses! *insert diabolic laughter* 

But wait…why is my little one the only blasian baby in this contest anyway?!  I took some time to check thru the photo of babies just to see if I could find another biracial child.  Now I could be wrong cause some of those kids gave me pause… racial speaking…but for the sake of my argument I’m going to say I think he was the only black and asian child…so far.  I can only hope I can talk another mom of a blasian into entering =) .

I feel entering this contest will be a good thing whether we win or not. If we don’t put ourselves and our community out there for society to become aware then our voices and images will remain in the background.  What a shame that would be

Caught Between a Mommy Rock and Hard Place

After a change of plans, I wondered how I could spend the rest of my day. I was already outside and the day was so beautiful and warm. Daniel was enjoying it and looked so cute in his fisherman hat. A true shame to return home now.

So I thought…since we’re already in downtown brooklyn,  we should go hangout on the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. That would be a great way to destress, try to tan Daniel and of course get a photo.

On the way I stopped in a neighborhood store for some Arizona refreshment.  I grab my drink and head up to the counter to pay. Ironically it’s a Korean owned store with a older Korean women at the counter. As I’m paying the women starts talking to Daniel.  Then she starts a convo with me

Korean counter lady: What’s the name

Me: Daniel

Korean counter lady:  Oh, it’s a boy

Me: *frown*  yes he’s a boy

Korean counter lady: Oh so cute.

Me:  Thank you. Say Annyeong Haseyo Daniel  *paying and getting ready to leave*

Korean counter lady: Oh he’s Japanese

Me: *blink, blink*  No he’s korean…well really Korean and Black  *pointing to Daniel and then myself*

Korean counter lady: *stares at me* Uh huh

As I left the store I laughed at the thought of the Korean counter lady telling her family about the black women who came into the store with a Japanese child trying to say first he was HER baby and then he was black AND korean.

As we rolled onto the promenade I saw a mixed group of women with children.  One group of mothers with their kids. The other group of babysitters with their kids. Where would I sit? Who can I be friendly with? Honestly I stood there for a few seconds cause I was struck with the option and what it might led to.  

If I sit with the moms will they wonder why a baby sitter is in the mommy section? Will I have to explain in detail with DNA diagrams how genetics work and YES he really is my baby? Hmm

If I sit with the babysitters will they shun me after learning I am not part of the “lets complain about our bosses” club? Will I need to convince them that I’m not a spy and I’m just a regular person like them? Hmm

As I stood there looking at them, they sat there looking me waiting for me to choose an alliance. Hmm.  I’m wasn’t up to dealing with the social politics today so I made my way to an empty bench away from both groups.  There I enjoyed the sun, the smell of the sea and Daniels warm baby kisses.  What a great end to the day.

Obama : Black Man Only or Multi-Racial Icon?

So like everyone else I watched the Inauguration all day while entertaing the idea of Daniel one day being the first “Asian” president. LOL. So, I found it interesting that everyone keep saying our first “black” president. That people felt that “finally there’s a black man in the white houese” and that “we’re making progress racially as a nation, race will no longer be such an issue, etc, etc, etc”.  But how true is this?  Have we really progressed racially?

President Obama hugged his sister, Maya Soetoro-Ng, at her December 2003 wedding to Konrad Ng (Chinese) in Hawaii.

First Obama might not be the “first” black president. It’s long been rumored that Abraham Lincoln might have had some black in him . Which could futher be argued that Obama is not out first bi-racial president. Which I’ve noticed was a fact majorly downplayed by the media. The fact that Obama had a white mother, asian stepfather, hapa sister and a diverse cultural background was on no channel I could find. To be fair, maybe I missed something while switching channels but I doubt it.

Obama doing a "shaka", a common greeting in hawii.

Adding to this none of the Inauguration “guest commentors” included these facts either. The most I could find that even hinted at Obamas diversity was a float from Hawii and a photo highlight of his school years in Hawii. Both ridiclously brief and if you were channel surfing you would have missed them. Sadly, they did make a comment about his middle name and his influence within the muslim community and what they might mean *rolling my eyes*. But leave it to Obama to make his history know by doing something that might seem insignificant but made a large statement in my mind. He did a “shaka“, a common greeting in hawii. My man did not forget his roots and culture. I can respect a man like that.

Obama Family's MultiCultural Roots

I can’t help feeling it was a media blackout (pun intended) about his bi-racial background. So while it’s of course great to have a minority president,  the issue that he’s being boxed in as being only “black” shows we’re not as racially progressive as it all might seem. Maybe by the time Daniel is ready to run for president racial issues might be further along on the road of not being racial “issues”.

Later Edit: I found a news article that addressed this issue.

Nation’s Many Faces in Extended First Family
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/21/us/politics/21family.htm (link opens in new window)

Credit for the photos highlighted in the blog is all theirs, but literal witty writing is all mine

The Secret and Mysterious Asian Santa

So this is Daniel’s first Xmas and I tried to capture the important memories of the season. Top on my list was the xmas photo. Now as usual I had to add a twist to the normal Santa xmas photo by wanting an Asian Santa. I just felt it would be nice to have Daniel take a photo with an Santa that looked a bit like him.

Asian Santa on vacation?

Needless to say the search for this race of Santa became a case for the CIA. I couldn’t find one in the usual places for nothing. I asked around every place and everyone I knew but no one had heard of an Asian Santa before. Shucks even the Asian people were looking for an Asian Santa

Where was this guy? On vacation? In a screet location only knowen to Asians? Was he working on the Asian timetable of xmas time? Did dude not get the memo that he’s needed this year? Or is the lack of an Asian Santa about something else…

You see it’s only recently that I’ve even seen a black Santa and homie only works in certain broughs anyway. For the most part people associated Santa with a big n jolly white guy. This makes sense since it’s a European character in orgin. Add to that most cultures do not celebrate the xmas idea. Thus the lack of more ethnic Santa.

But still…I’m in the darn United States…heck I’m in New York City for crying out loud. There is no excuse for the lack of ethic Santas in a place filled with so many different cultures. Why couldn’t I find a Asian Santa…even in Chinatown?!

But again, I’m fightning against what most people consider to be the norm…Santa is white…except in certain parts of brooklyn. Next year I’m going to hire my own group of ethic Santas to take photos with Daniel. I refuse to accept the “white Santa norm” another year.

DNA and Race – Black or Asian?

DNA and racial identification.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/12/us/12genes.html? _r=1

The idea that people are using DNA results to qualify for affirmative action, college admissions and scholarships and membership in wealthy casino tribes.

There’s alot of comments going back and forth in one of the mixed race groups I’m part of online. At first whenever convos start on whether affirmative action is a good or bad thing I could only think of myself. I mean hell yeah it’s a good thing if it gives me an extra boost in areas where being “black” meant being passed over or limited. Now after having my son my views on affirmative action has expanded in an unexpected way.

A few months ago one of my sisters bf, Kevin had some very interesting things to say about Daniel and my insistence that he can claim being black. Seems Kevin thinks if Daniel doesn’t look black then no one will think he is. He felt that Daniel will never be allowed into…

- The projects…unless he’s delivering food
- Basketball court…unless he’s with black friends.
- Howard University…unless he can prove his blackness by taking me along

Now, I tend to take uneducated comments like this in stride. No sense trying to explain something’s to some people. But it did make me wonder about colleges and such. I mean of course I want Daniel to go to college but it’s not cheap so I can use all the help I can get right? But what happens after filling out the applications, getting all the required paperwork and Daniel has to go in for the face to face interview? Will they say he’s a faker to the claim of “black-hood”? Can he claim protection under the umbrella of affirmative action? What happens when having 50% of black blood doesn’t show? Will Daniel have to walk around with DNA evidence to not only prove that he’s black but he’s also entitled to all the rights that come with it…if he chooses to claim them that is. He might just claim to be Asian and get into college that way. Shyt, No problems there right?

Hmm, I only have questions with no answers…but maybe Daniel and I will have to make our own answers.

Race and Politics : How far have we come?

Blacks and Blasians voting for Obama

Today is a great day…Daniel and I get to vote. It’s truth that Daniel is still too young to vote but being a US citizen, he will be able to one day so best to learn the process now. Not to mention I wanted him to share in the support of voting for our first minority presidental canadate. Yeah man.

So we get to the school, sign up and get ready to cast our ballot. While waiting at the booth this older women comes up to me and starts touching Daniel. Well I know he’s cute but she didn’t even ask if she could. I was annoyed but grin and bared it. I’m in the middle of making history so no time for being annoyed…until she had the nerve to ask me the famous question I’ve gotten since he was born…is that your baby?

*sigh*

I said yes he is…then she said, ‘I don’t believe you, he’s not your baby.”  What? What! This strange women is touching my baby and telling me he’s not mine. I immediately took her hand away from Daniel and said…well if you don’t believe me then don’t touch my child. I guess she thought I was joking cause she kept trying to touch him again and I kept blocking her. We stood there doing the touch and block in front the voting booth in front of a room full of people.

Eventually it was our turn to vote and I escaped into the booth but I was struck with this thought…here we are as a nation trying to elect a bi-racial president but most of us are still not racial aware or open. I would think having all that mixed race dialogue and info swirling around would open some people’s minds. I guess making the leap from a white women having a bi-racial child to a black women having a bi-racial child is still a bit much for some people. No matter…Daniel and I have already taken part in history.

Raising a Baby Black vs Asian

Today Daniel and I went to NJ to visit with Ketty, John and the family. After running around with the kids, having a family meal and bugging John a bit we settled to sleep happily along with another blasian family.

In the morning Ketty and I took the path train into the city.  During the drive we started talking about race issues.  As usual we came across a point we disagreed on. I want to raise Daniel with a strong black sense while she feels I should raise him mixed.  My argument?  Most people don’t see Daniel as “black”. Even Ketty and John said he looks totally asian…that he has nothing for me.  Since people will treat and react to him as he’s NOT black or even mixed, bi-racial, etc, I feel I have to take a strong stand to say he IS black and it’s ok.  Ketty feels I don’t have to do anything, that seeing me everyday will show and teach him about blackness. I think she’s wrong…what Daniel will see is that I’m his mother and by extension that I am a black women.  He will not know he IS a black man and does not have to be ashamed of it.

Back in the city while waiting at BK for breakfast this black women came up to me and of course ask…”Is that your baby? Boy or girl?” These questions have become standard so I can answer on autopilot…meaning not paying attention. Besides Daniel was being cute and I wanted to play with him. Still this woman wasn’t satisfied. She then asked “did you have him or adopted him?” She got my attention quickly and not in a good way…I answered very quick with “I HAD him!!!”

I guess my answer must have had some attitude with it cause she went on the defensive saying…”some people adopt them ya know.”  I wanted to point out how much he looks like me but like most people she can’t see past the skin tone. I just left with a “I had him naturally and he’s mine” comment and walked away with my giggly baby.  That’s the first time I heard that but if this strange women felt the need to ask then I’m figuring it won’t be the last time.

Baby Steps Towards Korean Traditions

Daniel is now 1 Month. Well officially he will be on Sunday since that’s the 27th of the month. But since I go weekly by Fridays then I’m counting today. With Daniel getting older I want to follow the Korean tradition. Sadly I’m behind in getting his clothes and having professional photos done. The delay is partly because I didn’t finish researching what type of clothes he needs and what happens with 1 months olds Korean boys. I’ll have to ask the women in the NKMTK (married to Korean men) group for info and suggestions. I’ll also tap my Korean co-workers now that I’m allowed to visit. Shucks might as well also try the Korean adoption yahoo group. I hope to get all info and take his photo by the end of the month. A little late but I’ll try to be more prepared for the 100 days and 1 year tradition.

 

Oddly, Guyanese folks don’t have any traditions for the 1 month mark. I’ll have to find a Guyanese tradition to celebrate with him.

 

*UPDATE*

Well I got the info from my co-workers and women in the married to Korean men group. Seems no one celebrates the first month. My Korean co-workers had a good laugh at me about being early. Darn them.

It’s the 100th day (baek-il) and 1st birthday (Tol) that’s celebrated with special clothes, photos, foods and a party. I doubt I’ll do the party…who can I invite? But the other parts should be fun. I have to dress him in a “Hanbok” and get photos taken. My Korean “mom” Young Mi will get one for Daniel since I’m clueless about where to shop and they cost about $100 and up. Yeah I know. We’ll see if I’ll take the photos myself or have them done by a pro when the time comes. For sure I’m not trying to cook any of the treats. Best to get those by a pro or someone who knows how to make them. Yummm

 

Odd bit of insider info about the photo requirements. Seems along with dress-up photos, I should have no-clothes photos also. It’s custom to proudly show off the penis of the baby boys in the photos. While I want to respect my son’s heritage there’s a limit to how far I’m going to follow tradition.