Raising a Baby Black vs Asian

Today Daniel and I went to NJ to visit with Ketty, John and the family. After running around with the kids, having a family meal and bugging John a bit we settled to sleep happily along with another blasian family.  

 

In the morning Ketty and I took the path train into the city.  During the drive we started talking about race issues.  As usual we came across a point we disagreed on. I want to raise Daniel with a strong black sense while she feels I should raise him mixed.  My argument?  Most people don’t see Daniel as “black”. Even Ketty and John said he looks totally asian…that he has nothing for me.  Since people will treat and react to him as he’s NOT black or even mixed, bi-racial, etc, I feel I have to take a strong stand to say he IS black and it’s ok.  Ketty feels I don’t have to do anything, that seeing me everyday will show and teach him about blackness. I think she’s wrong…what Daniel will see is that I’m his mother and by extension that I am a black women.  He will not know he IS a black man and does not have to be ashamed of it.  

 

Back in the city while waiting at BK for breakfast this black women came up to me and of course ask…”Is that your baby? Boy or girl?” These questions have become standard so I can answer on autopilot…meaning not paying attention. Besides Daniel was being cute and I wanted to play with him. Still this woman wasn’t satisfied. She then asked “did you have him or adopted him?” She got my attention quickly and not in a good way…I answered very quick with “I HAD him!!!”  

 

I guess my answer must have had some attitude with it cause she went on the defensive saying…”some people adopt them ya know.”  I wanted to point out how much he looks like me but like most people she can’t see past the skin tone. I just left with a “I had him naturally and he’s mine” comment and walked away with my giggly baby.  That’s the first time I heard that but if this strange women felt the need to ask then I’m figuring it won’t be the last time.